Good day readers, I am sure that some of you are wondering why am I starting to blog again. It only took one reason for me to stop but it sure as hell did take a million and one reasons to gather my courage to start doing what I love again.
I Was A Quitter
Yeah, there I said it. I was once a quitter and I might still be one someday later but not for now. I quit blogging, deleted my blog and stopped doing what I love because I was afraid. I was constantly feeling insecure and was always begging for assurance. I did not want to be judged.
That was me when I was young and stupid. I did not live my life. I was living a life to please everyone around me. Trust me, life does not work that way. Respect has to be earned. You do not beg for respect nor should you just give in because of fear. I was still constantly judged even when i quit doing what i love. In fact, I bet I still do. I learnt to live to please myself. Embrace life with self-confidence and self-assurance. At times, I might fall into despair but I have been telling myself that I have a choice to either let it get to me or be the bigger person.
Same goes to you out there. Do not let others take control of your life. You deserve to live.
Okay, now it is time for me to explain the reason why I started blogin’ again. The ultimate and probably the weirdest reason that gathered all my courage and hearten me to do this again is actually a character from a drama series i watched :
You Know You Love Me, xoxo Gossip Girl
Unexpected yet true. Daniel Humphrey published a book and every single one of his friends including his dad hated him in the first place. It definitely did bother him for a while but he chose to live for himself. He successfully published a second book and people who really cared and loved him did come around. They accepted him for who he was.
To clarify, I am certainly not saying that it is okay to betray your friends to get what you want. The lesson I learnt was “haters gonna hate, always”. No matter how you live to please them, no matter how much effort you put in until you lose yourself, there are still some people out there who would pin you down. People mostly hate or judge you out of jealousy.
I learnt a thing or two from Dan. I decided that it is time to start “drinking my cup of tea” again. I was once beaten down to having zero confidence in myself. However, trust me, when you gain self-confidence, it is the best feeling in the world. You start living for yourself. You start watching out for yourself, you do not beat yourself up just because you fail to please someone. You will also start realising that there are people who would accept you for who you are. Those who care and love you will definitely come around.
This was a huge leap of faith, I reckon. Beyond any doubt, I feel good. Well, I am an extrovert and from now on, I want to show you the world through my eyes and the life in my shoes.
? sneak peek for Gossip Girl fans! There will be a blog post about Gossip Girl coming up soon! Stay tuned! You know you love me, xoxo Gossip Girl ?
Until then, keep your heads high, loves ♥♥