The two hardest feelings to have control of are fear and hate.
‘Hate’ is a really strong word but is constantly misused to hurt someone elses’ feelings. I personally admit that ‘hate’ is an often used word to exaggerate my dislike of something. Whether it is ‘I really hate 9am classes, I seriously hate assignments, omg I really hate her or I hate my life.’ However, it is also the very word that I fear.
With the existence of social media, it is one of the fastest ways to spread hates. This has caused fear to so many people out there, especially teenagers. There are some people who are sending hates for fun, who thinks that it is funny or there are just some people who likes to bring people down.
For those of you who do not know me, I used to be active on Ask.fm (a social platform where you can send anonymous questions or messages). I have stopped using this social network for quite a while but I do view it when I happen to receive a notification. Recently, I received a question saying ‘You used to receive a lot of hates right? Now that you have started blogging, what if you start receiving hates again?‘
That question did got me thinking for a while. Thoughts like ‘What if I start receiving hates again? Can I handle it? Am I just creating trouble or drama for myself by starting a blog? ‘ All these thoughts crossed my mind and it took me quite a while to gather all my thoughts together because I used to receive hates like ‘Why didn’t your dad die when he had a heart attack? You are so ugly and fat. You don’t deserve to live and etc.’
There were seniors from my school who asked me to ignore those hates but I did not listen. I thought the least that I could do was to defend myself and speak up for myself. Well, I realised that it was the most foolish and ignorant thing I have ever done. The more I tried to vindicate myself,the more hate I receive. I was really upset and it really caused me to start doubting myself. I started to be really sensitive about my weight and is constantly paranoid, wondering if the people who I was talking to were the ones sending me hate.
It was a bad experience. It was the hardest period of my high school life. I know there might be some offensive actions or words that I have said but I know that I definitely do not deserve to be insulted in those ways.
So, my respond to that question: I know I am not doing anything wrong by blogging. I am just sharing my interests, hobbies, thoughts and happiness with people out there. In some ways, there might be people out there who are going through the issues that I am going through. They might not have the courage to speak up but at least, I hope that they would not feel lonely or if they are the only ones going through the hard phase of life. At least, there is someone who they could relate to.
With this as my intention, I know that I have not wronged anyone in any way. I am simply doing things that I love and spreading this happiness around.
For anyone who are receiving hates and going through a hard time because people around you disapprove of your decisions and actions, I just want to let you know that you should not be affected if you know you are doing the right thing.
You do not have to try so hard to fit in.
You do not have to please everyone else in the world.
You just have to be yourself.
You just have to do what makes you happy.
You have to understand that there will always be people who cannot wait to watch you fall.
You need to know that there are your loved ones out there who are rooting for you.
You just have to move on with your life and know that you are doing a lot better than those pathetic losers who send hates.
You are not supposed to fear hates. Constantly being in fear that you would receive hate would slowly transform you into a whole new level of paranoid person. It consumes so much of your energy and strength.
I just want you to know that hate do not define who you are. It defines those who sent them. If you ever find out that it is from one of your friends, please do not be upset. Friends are those who would point out your mistakes and help you to be a better person. Friends do not go behind your back.
Be strong, my dear. Love yourself by doing the right things and decisions. Most important of all, allow yourself to be happy.
If you think by tweeting your thoughts, blogging or even vlogging makes you happy, go ahead. If you love the confidence that makeup can give, go ahead too, loves. Dress yourself the way you would like to see yourself in the mirror.
Life is too short to be someone else. Love yourself and the right people will love you.
The only way in life to please everyone and not be hated is to
do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
Haters only hate the people that they can’t have or they can’t be
Until then, keep your heads high, loves ♥♥